I Found My Box of Letters in My Old Dresser Drawer

Rachel moved out over the weekend, so I’ve been cleaning out her space and turning it back into a guest room. I found a journal from February 2005… You guys – that was 12 years ago. That’s a small human’s life ago. I can’t.

Is it weird that I feel sort of the same and sort of nothing like I was then?

First of all, I am still friends with some of the people I was in that journal. I’m so glad. I had some really amazing things to say about you guys 12 years ago and I would still say the same things now. Our relationships may be different, but your hearts are the same. Thankful then. Thankful now.

Second of all, I find myself mourning my college years. That’s when I had very little responsibility and more free time and freedom than I will ever have again. Everyday was an adventure in finding out who I was. I may have known more then than I do now about myself. Adulthood can be a little crushing. You’re supposed to know who you are now – be married, have kids, a home, a career, an emergency fund, and a 401k.

Not that those things are bad. They’re not. I just really thought I was going to live paycheck to paycheck my whole life – serving coffee and watching live music. That was the dream. Am I right?

Ok, so not the paycheck to paycheck part, but the rest.

Third (and I’m pretty sure final) of all, I used to WRITE (and write and write).  There were so many lines of observation and truth that poured out of me onto those pages. I’m not sure why I stopped. I think I got busy with work and people. I also don’t spend a lot of time alone, so I don’t have time to stop and let the thoughts stir and spill out.

The moral of this story is: stay in college for as long as you can. Those are the golden years.

(Rebecca, are you reading this?)

Also, if you want to write, then stay up late after the world is asleep and write.

Sleep is for the weak.
Coffee is my crack.

Note: this post is mostly induced by a 12 year old journal, but also maybe because I’m deep into Lena Dunham’s book and she just makes me want to be a badass who shares what she has to say.


Listening: I Nine (because college)
Reading: Not That Kind of Girl (You guys use Overdrive, right?)

summertime and the livin’ is easy

Well, here in Charleston we went from a stunning 72 degrees to a hellish 98 degrees in a three day time span.

What the heck?

It’s been a beautifully busy week though, filled with friends, family, and mostly food. It’s definitely a time of transition from spring to summer, from slow to busy. There is a lot of excitement and change coming up. I need to figure out how to balance it all – for myself, for my family, for my coworkers, for the general good of all people around me.

Coffee will help. Specifically, the spiced cold brew from Harold’s Cabin. If you follow me on instagram, then YOU KNOW how much I enjoyed this place. I can’t wait to go back.

Next week, we’re going to Asheville to celebrate Rachel’s birthday! I hope she has as much fun as Naomi did for her 30th birthday. (This really sets the bar high.) The good news is  it doesn’t stop in Asheville because Short Grain knows how to party.

Speaking of birthdays, we went to the National White Water Center in Charlotte for Nate’s birthday earlier this month, then this happened. I get it, amoeba are everywhere, but still.

This week I struggled with perfectionism and began to realize it’s sort of a vicious cycle/disease that has followed me through my life. It often has a fearful hold on me, and as I was trying to put it into words, I read this post and it was everything. A perfectionist must face the demons of sobriety if he or she is going to ever see the other side of that dark wall. The battle will be daily, but the good news is, it will be easily won.

As a “perfection addict” and hardcore FOMO sufferer, it’s sometimes difficult to attain the alone time I crave. Anne Lamott tells it like it is. I’ve heard it said that every day you need half an hour of quiet time for yourself, or your Self, unless you’re incredibly busy and stressed, in which case you need an hour. I promise you, it is there. Fight tooth and nail to find time, to make it. It is our true wealth, this moment, this hour, this day.

The good news? Rotisserie Chicken is here to help – getting you halfway to dinner any busy night of the week. Lifesaver.

I guess this week has just been a lesson in the fact that nothing and no one is perfect and life is better once you can wriggle out of the tight grasp of perfection. When that happens, you don’t care that you didn’t prep food or get your laundry done because  you ate all the amazing things with all the amazing people and finally got to see Bill Murray out in public after being a Charleston native for 31 years.  Magic.

It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy. xo.

I spy with my little eye - Bill Murray.

I spy with my little eye – Bill Murray.

and we frolicked about in our summer skin

13432195_962236677231075_6806640237099965115_nI love summer with its long days and humid nights. I love being in the water, grilling with friends, and sipping rosé all day. When it’s too hot to be outside, I lounge around with a pile of books because summer reading is one of those habits that stuck with me. And it’s iced coffee season. What’s not to love?

I’ve come up with a list of Summer Goals for the next few months.

Read (at least) 6 books.
Watch the new OITNB season.
Drink rosé all day. (Swag.)
Bake the perfect Salted Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Get my passport.
Grill a pizza.
Play with essential oils and make a reed diffuser.
Eat a lot of Farmer’s Market Skillet.
BLOG. At least once a week.

What do you think? Do you have any summer goals?

Here are a few things I found on the internets to get you thinking about summer:

Happier Podcast: Design Your Summer

It’s a Summer to Thrive.

Let’s drink some summer water. JTB is doing it.

The 10 Commandments of Summer Cooking.

These are not about summer, but summer is about these.

PS. The photo above is from The Golden Girl Rum Club if you need to get your summer on in Missouri.

This is all I have time to share for now because my sweet hubs is taking me to the beach for Father’s Day (yay dads!).


Raise Your Hand If You Had a Good Weekend

*raises hand*

ImageBetween Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I actually had two days off – not in a row – but two days off. And I was as productive as I could be between crazy rain and snow. (Yes, snow. Yes, I still live in Charleston. Yes, it’s crazy. Yes, it melted upon contact with anything else.)

Anyway, what you see displayed here (sorry for the poor photo skills – I
wasn’t thinking about sharing it at the time…) is a light fixture that I updated in our dining room. It was once gold with frosted, flower shaped, shades, but is now silver with seeded glass. What a difference $30 and some spray paint makes! I also changed some light switch plates and Nate updated another outlet into one with USB ports. And we had our tub re-caulked… And I’m really excited by it! #thingsyousaywhenyougetold

On Saturday I worked and (despite the snow) I was still quite busy. But the best part was being able to go to the Muddy Waters Christmas Party with Rachel. The coffee business is an early morning beast, but you get to work with some of the best and most sarcastic people who really do care about pulling espresso and building community (once they’ve had their own caffeine). I miss it. I really do.

Also, not to be forgotten from this weekend, I forced Rachel and Nate into binge watching (and finishing!) The Office with me. The last season is SO good. And I just love them all so much at the end.

I didn’t travel to any faraway places or do anything exotic, but this weekend was filled home improvement, friends, cozy clothes and blankets, and lots of la croix. What more could a girl even ask for?

“I wish there was a way to know that you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”  – Andy Bernard

A few more things…

Read this sweet article about Today’s Letters.

Watch this exciting trailer for Neighbors 2 – hooray!

And (if you’re into editing photos on your phone) – A Beautiful Mess has a new app called A Color Story! It’s free to download and you can buy all available packs for just $7.99 right now. You know I did it!

Sitting Here Tonight by the Firelight…

you can do anythingThe end of my day off is drawing near and I didn’t do everything I wanted to do… But that’s ok.

My house isn’t perfectly beautiful or perfectly clean. I didn’t make any zoodles for dinner like I said I would. I didn’t stick to a meal plan and I haven’t prepped any food for the week. I didn’t drink eight glasses of water and I had a cocktail. I spent a lot of money on myself, on my people, on my house. I didn’t work on any of the spreadsheets I brought home to work on.

But that’s all ok. Because I’m learning that perfection is not what it’s about.

“But I also wondered if he wasn’t right, that we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. The point of a story is the character arc, the change.” – Donald Miller

… it reminds me that I already have more than I should.

New Year. New Rules.

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photo from eliseblaha.typepad.com

This is what two residents and I decided. New Year, New Rules. You can throw out the things that didn’t work for you in the past and begin again. And, if you find out in a few days/weeks/months that these rules aren’t working for you, then you haven’t failed – it’s just time to adjust and that’s ok.

It’s ok to try new things and for them to not work out. No one is judging the person who tries – only the person who does nothing.

This year, I am trying to be more grateful for the amazing life I have. My husband is the best – he takes care of me and loves me hard in all the ways he can. My friends and family are getting married, having babies, chasing professional goals, and traveling to visit us and other parts of the world – and I get to be a part of those stories. Plus, Mr. Bear is learning to come find me for snuggles every morning – in a way that only our little Bear nugget can.

This year, I am trying to be more healthy, so I can keep my amazing life going for a long time. I used to workout like a crazy person and eat so fresh and so clean clean. Well, with marriage comes love (handles) and now I’m learning to get back at it. Starting with… a Clean Eating Challenge by my friend Megan Greb! And likely a 3 Day Refresh from Beach Body. Because baby steps are good for me and I need to learn to curb my crazy cravings again. (Also, I’m looking for a gym and even a trainer to visit once or twice a week, so if you have any suggestions throw ’em at me!)

Those are my goals for the new year. Be Grateful. Be Healthy.

The rules I follow to reach those goals may change from month to month, but that’s ok. I’ll keep my eyes on the prize. I’ll create some good habits for a good life. I’ll (hopefully) be sharing this journey here with you all – because I’m really grateful for the gift of my very own website 🙂


So This is the New Year

happy nye neil

There is certainly something magical about a new year – a brand new round of 365 days to “get it right” this time. But do we really ever achieve that? I mean, what is “right” anyway? I spent a few hours today running around and cleaning and scrubbing and organizing and then I read that a perfectly kept house is the sign of a life misspent. So, there’s that.

Neil seems to have it together, so I’m going to say he knew what he was saying in the quote above. That is my wish for us all in this coming year. Find some mad magic in 2016. Go after those goals – big or small, personal or professional – and surprise yourself. It will all turn out “right” in the end.


It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Well, it’s *almost* that time of year.11892199_10103427046992277_5147978840200988732_n

It’s definitely still August. It’s definitely still summer. But leave it to retail to rush you into the next season. The MOST WONDERFUL season.

I cannot be trusted in Target until 2016 because first comes pumpkin, then comes peppermint, then comes bankruptcy.

In unrelated to pumpkin news, the new Ben Rector album is out today! If you don’t know Ben Rector, then get on it. He can be found on Spotify or Apple Music – whichever you prefer. (We’re an Apple Music family, but I doubt any of you will find that surprising.)

ALSO, I just finished Kevin Kwan’s books Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend because binge reading chick lit is better than binge watching Netflix (or so they say).

Thanks for falling down the rabbit hole with me today.

I will become what I deserve

photo by eringail. art by raven roxanne.

photo by eringail. art by raven roxanne.

I’ve been worrying that my time here’s a little unclear // I’ve been worrying that that I’m losing the ones I hold dear // I’ve been worrying that we all live our lives in the confines of fear

It’s been a few years since I’ve seriously blogged. The posts used to come daily. Days turned to weeks into months into years. Where did my words go? Where were the thoughts I wanted to put into posts and share with all of you? I’ve been searching for my inspiration with no luck. But my friends, they saw my struggle and reminded me that my voice wasn’t just for myself. My thoughts and words have value outside of my own mind. So, here I am.

My inspiration is this website. It’s the people who made this gift possible. It’s their love and encouragement that has brought me back to this place where my words can flow freely. I cannot say thank you enough.

Welcome to my new blog. Let’s be adventurers of life together.

Now listening: Ben Howard – Every Kingdom